Scarborough - A bitch named Charmin is top dog, best in show, top banana, the big cheese, the one to beat, at the Craps show here.
The snobbish fans at Craps were wiping themselves in disbelief as a dog named after a toilet paper brand first peed on the floor, then mounted all the other dogs, one by one.
Sponsors pulled out of the show when they saw this shoddy bitch acting out.
However, on the news, huge crowds of common people jammed the doors to get in, over crowding all the seating areas.
And yet, despite her shoddy behavior, Charmin won. The judges had all left in disgust, but the crowd screamed CHARMIN.. CHARMIN.. CHARMIN.. CHARMIN..
Until finally, all in attendance agreed the little dyke bitch had won.