Northern Ireland, the Scot Presbyterian British colony on the Isle of Lost Souls, AKA Catholic Ireland, dreads the annual Roman Irish Feast of Sinn Fein Patron Saint, and Roman slave, Saint Patrick.
It's not just the rock hard soda bread which has injured more British occupying troops than IRA bombs. The green beer is certainly disgusting but that's not it. The boring mile long parades and processions are truly unbearable but even that's not the end of the world. And the pukin corned beef and cabbage at least adds some flavor to the otherwise tasteless British cuisine, especially with some Leopold Bloom Jewish rye and a fine kosher dill.
The unacceptable part of the Irish revolutionary celebrations of the Sainted Padraic is the insistence on getting bombed. Temperate Northern irish Scot Presbyterians are an abstenious lot and the southerner's penchant for inebriation to the point of puking is just un...as we said...acceptable. British spy 007, Seamus O'Bong has volunteered to stake out the celebrations and turn as many Irish drunks into good Scot Presbyterian pot heads as possible!