Children born to middle class parents are 50% more likely to be classified as homosexual. Partly this is due to parents desperate to define their children as having an "alternative lifestyle".
Mr and Mrs Duponce, of Surrey, said, "We realised our boy Sam was gay when he once watched a Spice Girls video and seemed to enjoy it. We completely accept his sexuality and are trying to introduce him into the lifestyle. He may be only 7 but we have already bought him a leather satchel and a rainbow collar so he can identify with the gay community."
I asked the Guardian-reading Mr and Mrs Duponce whether they were pressurising their son to be gay when he was too young to be able to choose. They replied, "How dare you? Our son is a proud homosexual, I'm sure many famous gay activists would be proud of him, or may even wish to penetrate his buttocks when he is old enough. I'm so glad we don't have a boring hetero child. How embarrassing that would be among our neighbours!!"