Written by Earl Grey
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Sunday, 8 March 2009

image for 'We Do Matter' Says Lib Dem Leader
Go Back To Your Constituencies And Prepare For Third

At the opening of the Liberal Democrat party conference Nick Clogg urged his party's supporters to keep working hard. "We are still relevant" he told a packed (all six seats filled) Harrogate Refreshment Rooms. He was seeking to silence those who have questioned the future of Britain's third party.

Supporters rallied round. Sid Bonkers of Truro said "We will fight for the right to come third in the next election". Meanwhile former leader Sir Ming the Merciless was very pleased to see a good turnout and would have stayed longer but he had to get back to the home. They were having macaroni cheese.

Another former leader, Charles Drunkard, was found outside in the gutter singing "If I Ruled The World". And he was covered in what looked like macaroni cheese.

But is Clogg right that the Lib Dems are still relevant to voters? Our political expert Nick Hack thinks it is a typical Lib Dem answer of yes and no. "Yes they are relevant in that you know who will finish third each time. And no they don't matter because they will always finish third". Confused? Then you should join the Lib Dems.

Latest poll
Conservatives 45%
New Labour 35%
Lib Dems 15%
Green Party 4%
National Fascist Thick Bastard Who Ought To Be Locked Up For Violent Race Hate Crimes And Possible Drug Offenses 1%

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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