I was revealed today that the unfortunate Jade Goody has only 9½ weeks left.
The reality show winner, who, despite what everyone has said about her, has been sadly stricken with cancer, was said to be further devastated by the news that she officially now has only 9½ weeks left.
Speaking through her spokesman, Max Commission, she said that she really only had herself to blame for having only 9½ weeks left.
It appears that while she has been ill, on the odd occasions new husband has not been in jail or lamping taxi drivers, he has been busy selling Jade's possessions at local car boot sales without her knowledge.
When she returned home for some respite earlier this week, she wanted a quiet night in watching DVD's, but found that her collection of 400 movies had been reduced to only one, and that she only had 9½ Weeks left.
"I really wanted to watch something relaxing and enjoyable" she said, "but I was really disappointed to find that I only had 9½ Weeks left. It's really not my favourite."