In a move certain to raise eyebrows in the House of Lords, the Government have announced that from Saturday they will start to cull the stupidest 25% of the adult population.
"The great unwashed, the workshy and people who are just plain ignorant are not needed in these tough economic times" announced the Prime Minister Gordon Brown in a tub-thumping speech to party faithful last night. "They are simply excess to requirements", he added.
The move, which will see the bottom 10 million people removed from society by painless gassing, will save £millions every year. People under the age of 16 and over 65 will not be affected. Brown explained; "These worthless scum get all the benefits but contribute very little to society. We will not, of course, be culling children - they will be put to work as chimney-sweeps and cleaners".
The cull will start with prisoners and young offenders etc, people who have never worked and other jobless, aimless people, airheads and drifters.
People affected are asked to attend their nearest police station from 10.00am Saturday with proof of I.D.