Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Rubbish, Laziness, Binmen

Monday, 2 March 2009

image for Bin Men Are Not Bone Idle Say Binmen's Union
The Red Bin - Used Solely For Used Tampons. Not A Bin Man's Favourite

The National Union Of Bin Men today reacted angrily to reports that bin men were bone idle and that they 'couldn't be bothered' to empty half of the bins on their rounds.

With bins now being emptied fortnightly, the consequences of having an unemptied bin can be catastrophic. The potential health risks become all too real once rotting garbage is left in a bin for a month.

The bins tend to stink to high heaven, especially in the sweltering heat (sic) of a British summer. The bins become a magnet for flies and are often found to be maggot infested when they are finally emptied.

This has prompted an industry whereby entrepreneurs steam clean wheelie bins of maggots and foul smelling sludge for a nominal fee because the council won't pay for bins to be emptied on a weekly basis.

"The bin men are not bone idle at all, contrary to popular belief," NUB head Winston Burchill told us. "They perform a crucial service, provide economic stimulation to the communities they serve, and frequently cause people who are oversleeping to wake up with their noisy whistling, shouting and banging about as they empty half their allotted amount of bins.

"Oh," he added. "And you can rest assured that if any bin remains unemptied, there's a jolly good reason for it."

"Like what?" we challenged.

But Winston Burchill was already on his way out of the room as he only works a two hour day.

We remain to be convinced that our bin men are the 'Best in the world.'

More as we get it

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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