Written by Earl Grey
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Monday, 2 March 2009

image for Thousands Of Scots Heading South Of The Border
English reaction to the news

Scotland could soon be deserted following the announcement by their government to raise the price of alcohol. Fears that the national pastime of drinking and fighting might become obsolete has forced action. Protesters and alcoholics marched over the border and camped outside the first off license they found.

Scottish minister Jackie Fish said "I introduced these measures because the national stereotype, of a string vest wearing yob calling me hen, has got to change."

However, the move could damage the economy. Distillers warned that there would be redundancies if prices rose and consumption fell. And publicans are fearful that they will have to close.

English people are also less than happy with the prospect of a rise in the number of Scottish people crossing the border. It is believed that a quota system may be put in place in a bid to control immigration between the two countries.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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