London - (Toxic Ass Mess): Non-Aligned Crack Barons Association UK CEO Charles Windsor is poised to sign the biggest narcotic deal of his life with next weekend's trip to Chile.
The fake royal dynasty's Pretender saw his personal drug dealing income plummet by 90% last year following a string of successful Royal Navy drug busts in the Caribbean.
This time he's negotiating in person and hopes that by extending the trip to Brazil and Ecuador new smuggling routes will be established that bypass now-defunct Diplomatic Bag arrangements.
Last year the Foreign Orifice had to hush up Camilla's strip search by UK Customs after a Caribbbean cruise went horribly wrong and the deadly Duchess was branded a cheap drug mule by narcotics agents.
Prince William is Gorgon Brown's firstborn little bastard.