Economy airline Brianair is today counting the cost of its plans to charge passengers to use the toilet on board. The plan-£1 for a piss and £5 for a shit-proved extremely unpopular.
Billy Nomates spoke of his shock "I always travel with them because they are so cheap. But this is too much. I am a very nervous flyer. It really upsets my guts. So much that I take a dump every ten minutes on board. If it is a two hour flight then it will cost me.......a lot"
Ron Biggles, editor of Air Loos Express said "I'm amazed. Their planes have been flying toilets for years. This could leave the budget passenger with a real dilemna. Do they pay the charges, or do they wait and hope for a speedy transit through passport control?"
Brianair have defended their actions. Dick O'Toole, official toilet spokesperson for the Irish firm said "These people need to relax. The earnings will be reinvested into the company. Well the chief executive's retirement fund anyway." O'Toole put any rumblings of discontent down to a dodgy Lamb Bhuna the pilot had the night before.