Written by Pointer
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Friday, 27 February 2009

image for British Woman, Winslett Disgraces Nation by Winning at Golden Globe and Oscars
Kate Winslett will play Frosty's frozen friend in her next film

Kate Winslett has brought honor to the acting profession of John bull's Island with a Golden Globe for Redemption Road and an Oscar for The Reader or at least one would think so. But the brilliant and buxom star has been under a barrage of criticism from her fellow countryfolk for her emotional display at the awards ceremonies.

The Society of Thespians of Nation England (STONE) reminded the decorated actress that bylaw 3 of the STONE code of thespian theatrical behavior forbids tears, squeals and especially I love you, Leonardo's. the award winning thesbian is encouraged to be self-deprecating, stone cold and sarcastic as all hell.

Winslett has been profusely apologetic for her emotional outpouring and has shed copious tears, squealed a public confession daily and has been downright disgusting in her self-deprecation. STONE officials have begged her to just forget about the whole bloody mess lest it bring them to real tears.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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