Following recent aviation disasters industry investigators have asked the question: "Are the pilots' to blame?"
Survivors have complained of strange noises and foul smells just before the crashes. The pilots had also announced that "we are experiencing turbulence" just before the noises began.
Experienced pilot and drink expert James May said "It can be fatal letting one go at 20,000 feet. Mind you after all that drink it is fatal every time I drop one."
It is thought that an amateur photographer caught the moment when two pilots went head to head-or arse to arse-in mid air in a crazy display of aeronautical farting. Billy Bonkers said "I saw the planes, and thought I'd take the picture. Then I noticed the smoke. There was loads of it. And the smell!"
Industry chiefs have ordered a change of diet for pilots. No longer will they be served the same meals as all the passengers. Richard Branston has offered the pilots a pickle free diet.
It is hoped that history will not repeat itself. And that the pilots do not repeat also,