Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Top Gear

Thursday, 26 February 2009

image for Top Gear In BMW Fake Test Scam
Clarkson at the wheel

BBC's award winning motor show 'Top Gear' was at the centre of a storm tonight as it was claimed that they had falsified the test results of the new BMW 8 series on their show. Jeremy Clarkson is alleged to have used the performance specifications of his dad's old delivery van instead of the figures of the BMW.

Mr Clarkson senior is a retired prophylactic delivery man. John Clarkson, known locally as 'Rubber Johnny', was surprised when his son popped round and asked to borrow the van. "He said that he wanted to get the feel of it. So he borrowed it for the weekend."

It was a risky move for the lanky TV presenter. Leg room was at a premium. And every time he pulled up at a set of traffic lights passers by asked him if he had 'fun packs'.

Top Gear have rushed to deny that there has been any wrong doing. James May, looking rather pissed, said "Look.. the MB...the WM...the BW...that kraut car was just a little ssslow." He then stumbled back into the pub as it was Oz Clarke's round.

BMW are said to be furious."This car was twenty years in the making. It is a high performance car. We will consult our legal team".

Clarkson was asked for comment. "Up yours Fritz".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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