Written by Earl Grey
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Topics: Trains, Railway

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

image for This Is The Age Of The Train
"Tickets please!"

The government has announced that rail fares are set to come down for the first time in living memory. Lord Adonis (no, that really is his name) has told rail firms to lower their regulated fares.

"We need to get people on to trains. At the moment Westminster and the City are overrun with former bankers and stockbrokers. And former cabinet ministers. We need these people off the streets."

Rail firms have declared this action to be unfair. "When inflation was high we were making a fortune. Why should we now have to lower fares" said Sir Richard Branston the pickle king fat cat and train boss. "We are running a business not a public service you know".

It is thought that jobs may be cut. Firms may rush through plans to close ticket offices. That way they can fine people for not buying a ticket. On train inspectors could be a growth industry-very welcome at present. Any unemployed Nazi will be looking forward to the opportunity.

One thing the government has overlooked. If businesses are going under everyday, when you get a train somewhere what will there be to do. If everything is closed why not stay at home.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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