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Monday, 23 February 2009

image for Jacqui Smith to star in Slumdog Millionaire 2
The Home Secretary claims she lives in a box room in London in order to claim expenses

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has accepted a leading role in Danny Boyle's planned sequel to Oscar winning Indian movie Slumdog Millionaire. The film will follow a politician's meteoric rise to wealth through claiming housing expenses she isn't entitled to.

"Ms" Smith, who is actually married, claims that she lives in a spare bedroom in her sister's London flat rather than in her Redditch house with her husband and children (aged 8 and 13). As a consequence of this, she alleges that her family home is her "second home" and claims the cost of owning and maintaining it as a Parliamentary expense. It is believed that she earns £120,000 in expenses alone.

Boyle commented "She's perfect for the role. Her character is every bit as scheming and manipulative as she is, claiming tons of taxpayers' dosh she isn't entitled to whilst sending innocent people to prison at the same time."

Smith's character, who will coincidentally be called Jacqui Smith (apparently this is an Indian name) is described as "evasive and untruthful". In one scene from the new film, when asked by a Parliamentary committee why she spends more time in a box room than in her family home with her children, Smith breaks into a song and dance, which lasts 20 minutes.

Jacqui Smith is rumoured to have bought a house in Bel Air, Los Angeles to attend next years's Oscar's Ceremony, and is considering redesignating that as her second home.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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