Written by IainB
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Topics: Wales, singing, Tom Jones

Monday, 23 February 2009

image for Tuneless Welshman taught to sing
Davies busking on Bangor High Street.

After appearing on Britain's Got Talent, Griff Davies of Bangor was revealed as being the only Welshman who cannot sing. He was immediately offered singing lessons on the NHS.

"It was a tragedy," said Rob Brydon, who was judging the Welsh heats of the popular reality TV show. "More than that, it was painful. I've never heard of a Welshman who cannot carry a tune. He was so bad, he put me off my leek and daffodil soup."

Emergency measures were required, and Brydon spearheaded a campaign to get Davies singing lessons on the NHS, and they responded in style, with top Welsh rockers brought in save the ears of thousands of distraught Welsh people. Cerys Williams from Catatonia, James Dean Bradfield from Manic Street Preachers and Tom Jones were Davies's teachers.

"I was ever so grateful to Rob," said Donna Davies, Griff Davies's wife. "I love the man, but hearing him screeching in the bathroom was making the babes cry."

Under the tutelage of the top Welsh rockers, has Davies improved?

"The boyo is beyond help," said Delilah singer, Tom Jones. "I've done my best, but he couldn't carry a tune in a bucket."

Cerys Williams was a little more hopeful: "Although he couldn't hit a note with a machine gun, I think he's improved somewhat."

James Dean Bradfield agreed: "When we started with him, he made my ears bleed, but at least now he just causes flowers to wilt."

"I'd like to thank my teachers," said Griff Davies. "Although I don't think I needed them. There was nothing wrong with my singing. After all, I'm Welsh, and it's what we do well. That and play rugby. I went busking at the weekend, and earned fifty quid from W H Smith, who wanted me to move."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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