Written by Piemaster
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Topics: Jade Goody

Thursday, 19 February 2009

A deal has been struck whereby the producers of Big Brother will transform the BB House into a Hospice where Jade Goody will spend her final days.

A spokesman for Inyerface Media said "Basically the BB format will be followed, but obviously there will be no evictions as such. We're working on how viewers can participate, although the range of challenges will be a bit limited, naturally. The other problem will be in finding enough other celebrities in the same boat to take part, although we have had interest from Patrick Swayze and we hear Paul Burrell's not been so well lately. But I don't think we'll be parachuting in Michael Jackson, that really would be bad taste."

So, the cameras will sensitively follow Jade's daily routine, and we are also promised some no holds barred morphine-fuelled racial abuse.

"Now I can say what I like, 'cos I don't care. They can't sue me when I'm brown bread, or should I say brown poppadum.", Jade was reported as saying.

When challenged on the dubious taste of the plan, the spokesman responded "She came into the public world via the BB house and it is fitting that she leaves us from there". He refused to be drawn on whether the Davina McColl would present the show, or on rumours that Elton John is planning to do another rewrite of "Candle in the wind".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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