Written by Michael Simmonite
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Monday, 11 February 2002

image for Glamour Girl Natalie Gets Tits Out For Lads!

Derek and Jill Lad were at their wits end after neighbours complained to the local authorities about the foul stench coming from the back of their house.

"We just couldn't figure it out," said Derek, "the smell was absolutely appalling!"

Derek, who works at a local printing firm, tried everything to get rid of the smell. "I even sprayed the side of the house down with disinfectant," he said.

Wife Jill, who doesn't work at the printing firm but runs her own hairdressing salon, also tried her best to get rid of the foul odour. "I was so desperate I sprinkled talcum powder down on the lawn."

But hard as they tried, nothing seemed to work.

Then Derek, who is just over 5 feet 8 inches tall and owns a white Nissan Primera, finally located where the offending smell was coming from. "One particularly hot afternoon during the summer I noticed it was really niffy around the drainpipe area. I got out my ladder, climbed up to the roof, and was met with the answer straight away."

Derek, who stopped smoking almost ten years ago but admits to liking the occasional pint with his best friend, Phil Biggins, discovered that his suspicions had been correct and the smell was indeed coming from inside the drainpipe.

He decided to call in the experts. "I didn't waste a second. I got straight on the phone to 'UNBLOCKBUSTERS' and they sent someone around who sussed it out in no time."

"It was just a routine job," insisted Natalie Brooks, who has worked for the company for almost eighteen-and-a-half months.

"She did a great job," said Jill Lad, who once bared all for a girlie magazine but doesn't want it publicised. "I'd recommend her to anyone."

"I found three badly decomposed blue tits stuck in the pipe," explained 23-year-old Natalie. "They must have got washed down from the gutter."

Natalie also works as a part-time fashion model.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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