Written by whatinthe world
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Sunday, 15 February 2009

image for French chefs to order a "fatwah" on Gordon Ramsay
This Frenchy was caught yesterday taking illicit pics of Gordon Ramsay while he was shopping in Durham.

In breaking news, the French Association of Haute Cuisine Chefs has formally announced a vehement denunciation of UK celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay and added an unprecedented order to all French members to attack the foul mouthed British cook on sight.

This kind of violent reaction hasn't been seen since the heady days of 1989 when Iran's Ayatollah Khoumanie ordered a "fatwah" on controversial author Salman Rushdie. The British TV host was shocked and horrified when he was advised of the order.

"Who do these F...wits think they are? F...ing Oliver f...cking Cromwell" Ramsay responded.

Never one to shy away from a good fight, Ramsay has said he will form his own private army and snuff out any threat to his life that these mad Frogs try to make. "These c..ts are going to get it back in spades and they shouldn't be around when that f...ing happens."

Ironically, Ramsay's avuncular response has lead to the first public attempt on his life when a French garcon working at a restaurant Ramsay was filming for his latest TV series lunged at him with a long French bread stick. Ramsay was not shaken and replied with a jaw smattering punch to the waiter's face.

It is expected the incident will lift ratings enormously for the besieged chef.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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