Written by Norfolk'n'Clue

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Topics: Lancashire, Public

Saturday, 19 June 2004

Lancashire, UK.

An American man yesterday registered his disapproval with members of the public who, "think they are funny", in the village of Dick Slack, Lancashire, yesterday.

Mr. Daniel President is sick and tired of holiday-makers enquiring into the "state of the president's sexual health".

Mr. President moved to Lancashire, and chose to live in the amusingly named Lancashire village because it looked pretty and, "had some nice hills". He came from his native Oklahoma 5 years ago to farm, and has since endured, "a non-stop stream of bloody limey's thinking they are comedians".

He goes on to add, "I wouldn't mind, except they all seem to think they are the first one to ask me; then they clap me on the back, and exclaim, "I know you aren't the president. He comes from Texas"."

Daniel has had trouble adapting to the British sense of humour ever since he first came to Britain, when the immigration service detained him for a laugh. Mr. President was held for 2 days while immigration verified he was who he said he was. Daniel had this to say, "They kept me in a small room for ages. I would have complained, but the free orange juice was pretty damn tasty.".

George Bush is 58.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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