London - (Branch Davidians Copycat Mess): Fears are growing about the troubled UK Puppet Monarchy 'doing a St Valentine's Day Waco' after the European Court of Human Frights ordered the entire spoof dynasty to undergo compulsory equality training and reorientation.
On Friday the 13th Buckingham Palace flunkeys became concerned after hearing manic laughter in the royal breakfast room:
"Equality? Fat chance, bastards!" the Queen was heard chortling into her cornflakes.
"They'll never take me alive, hehehe."
Palace protection staff were then summoned after rumors that senior members of the Third Reichian throwbacks were locking themselves in the Throne Room in a spooky re-enactment of David Koresh's 1993 suicide pact.
"They've all been waiting for a St Valentine's Day UFO to spirit them away to the seeding planet of their forefathers," former Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon warned today.
"Lord knows what this will do to the Footsie 100 Index!"