Hollywood,Ca/ Rolling Stone - President Barry O'Bama continues his whirl wind, non stop campaigning for an Oscar nomination in the World's continuing Docu Drama, "Mayhem on Main Street".
The production, which to date has cost $760M in campaign funds, and $1.3 trillion in government funded incentives, continues to play well to the masses as the President appears at theaters around the country for opening night seances , "Soul Bonding," and Queen for a Day giveaways.
The President's appearances resemble revival meetings more than meaningful
confidence builders as the actor preens himself before adoring fans not only seeking his autograph, but new toilets, cars, a bathroom, and even highly paid no show jobs in his new scheme to take over the Census Bureau and stock it with unemployed ACORN paid "volunteers". Experts say the new count will reflect a 200M increase in the US population to support Nancy Pelosi's startling pronouncement that the US will lose "500M" jobs if the stimulus isn't passed
Some Presidential scholars have noted that the President appears more intent in pursuing personal adulation than in actually spending his time working on the nation's problems.
Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel discounted these observations saying,"That's just Barry's style...and you have to admit that's what got him where he is today! He likes to make pronouncements from the mountain, and then let the little people take care of the details. He's a great Political Evangelist, and he's not bad as a fund raiser either! BLESSED BE THE ONE!'
Emanuel refused to discuss recent tax scandals revolving around some of Barry's high profile cabinet picks and even members of his Democratic Congress and supporters.
The money hungry miscreants recently signed a long time promotional deal with a Chinese Cereal Company making its debut in the US, although financial terms were not disclosed.
Tom Dashele, Tim Geithner, Charlie Wrangle, Rev. Al Sharpton and Nancy Killfner are all appearing on the new breakfast treat dubbed "CHEATO'S", despite disclaimers on the box that the contents could be TOXIC as it contains recycled POLITICAL WASTE, and maybe some plastics. Early retail sales indicate that starving constituents are "eating the shit up!"
Emanuel continued to stress the fact that O'Bama is promoting fiscal conservation, and sites the fact that the President has recently signed a long term sublet net-net lease on the Oval Office to House Speaker Nancy Peloisi, who, it is reported, has come into a surplus of cash that needs to be laundered.
Barney Frank has been as quiet as a San Francisco $30M Harvest Mouse lately, and looks like he has come into a great deal of "cheese" as well now that he has inserted his Stimulus Suppository into the ass of Taxpayers.
Harvard University says they are retiring both Barry's Debating Suit Jersey number, OO, and his unpaid $350K scholarship loan, in honor of the President's future contributions to the school.
Barry's empty suit , now on display at the Law Library is said to "resemble him" and is drawing 50,000 Massachusetts residents a day at $5 a head.