Written by Daniel Tate
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Topics: Trains, Railway

Thursday, 12 February 2009

image for New 'Mega-Trains' Announced
What the Victorians did for us.

A fleet of new 'mega-trains' is set to hit Britain's ageing rail tracks sometime in 2013. The hope is for the trains to drag the National Rail Network's services towards the 21st century, following years of public criticism over the sub-standard services previously provided.

The new trains, named "Stop-Gap 2000", will be able to travel at up to 200mph slower than their Japanese counterparts and, thanks to their unique paint-work, will be considerably greener than the trains they will replace.

The announcement was praised by Richard Branson. "Innovation is key to success, and these trains are truly innovative. Unlike the light-speed, magnetically-suspended Star Wars trains that have recently been implemented in Japan and the US, these ones are essentially just a bit longer. It's simple but it means we'll be able to cram more unhappy customers on to each one."

The trains are expected to come into service just in time to miss the 2012 Olympic Games.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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