Written by Andrew J Dutch
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Tuesday, 10 February 2009

image for Snowmen are sexist! - EU pen pushers declare snowy tradition illegal
How the EU think snowwomen should look

Thousands of innocent people have been building snowmen during the current artic weather unaware that they have been breaking the law by only building snowMEN.

Euro MP, the Rt. Hon. Norma Snockers MEP, has highlighted the UK's flagrant disregard for EU common laws by showing evidence (obtained from the UK's network of CCTV spy cameras) that just 1% of all snowpersons created are in fact female.

This shocking statistic comes after The Spoof discovers that under EU directive SN0W-69XY at least 40% of all snowpersons must be female in order to ensure equality.

Sue Myas, a primary school teacher from Dartford, Kent, was stunned by the news "It's totally stupid it means that we'll have to teach kids how to build snowmen and snowwomen - that was never in the national curriculum and the department of education never told us we'd need to teach this, the EU can get lost!".

Ms Snockers has, however, said that this should not be a problem and issued a picture showing an example snowwoman for teachers (and everyone else) to use as a template. But some are outraged at the size of the breasts on this snowwoman, fearing that some weaker, unintelligent men might be attracted to them or that they might confuse babies causing them to get frost bitten lips.

Snowmen supporters are not taking this lying down however, from his secret (snow) bunker famous Welsh Snowman supporter Aled Jones issued this statement "It's stupid, boyo, we'll take the EU parliment by force if we have to, my secret army has taken delivery of thousands of VMDs (vegetables of mass destruction), we plan to bombard Brussels with high-yield leeks, there's lovely isn't it?"

With the help of the Freedom And Rights To Snowwomen (F.A.R.T.S.) pressure group, the EU vows to enforce this law and will be arresting anyone shown to be building snowpersons against quota requirments and forced to eat the raw carrots of snowmen melted down by F.A.R.T.S. activists.

Our view? It's political correctness gone mad!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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