Washington,DC/ Pessimistic News - An epic battle is shaping up as the Democrats two top Demagogues battle it out for top billing in the Nation's Horror Show under the guise of "fresh new leadership and the promise of HOPE & CHANGE."
Nobel peace prize winner, Al Gore, known in environmental circles as "The Prince of Darkness", and Barack Obama, who recently purchased the Presidency of the United States, now being tagged with the title of "Darkman of Doom," continue to scare the shit out of US citizens and taxpayers, while having little effect on the nation's 50 million illegal aliens living off entitlements.
Gore has recently been taking his message of "Global Warming" to the UK where Brits are suffering their worst winter weather since the Ice Age. It's been so cold that over 40% of the London Workforce has refused to go to work, instead preferring to stay at home and clog the internet with discussions on The Spoof.com web site where they are taking out their frustrations on fellow writers.
Obama, the charismatic articulator, has been appearing on TV every 15 minutes raising the threat level to the US Economy to DEFCON 43. His dire warnings have even impacted the weather channel as the Minister of Disaster, Jim Cantori is standing by at the White House in full storm gear, echoing the Presidents dire threats of an economic Tsunami, and telling viewers to "get to the high ground", or at least, "evacuate to Alaska!" MSNBC financial Guru, Jim Cramer, is said to have already left the building and moved to the 8th floor of Bernie Madoff's safe house.
Meanwhile conservative proposals to reclaim fiscal responsibility in the Nation's Democratic controlled inner cities where corruption and fiscal mismanagement runs rampant, the deporting of illegal aliens, the collection of unpaid taxes from Democratic politicians and the 400,000 unionized postal workers who are delinquent, fall on deaf ears.
Respected economists say that by cleaning up government, following existing laws, and bowing out of the UN and collecting fees paid to Lobbyists, the US could become the only country with a democratic form of government that would become totally tax free.
Meanwhile, in Bangor, Maine, home of writer Stephen King, his publicist says the renowned writer of scary novels is hard at work on his latest creation.
The book, reportedly half fiction and half non fiction revolves around a charismatic, but bumbling amateur politician, who through a quirk in Global Economic Events, human apathy and voter fraud presides over the cataclysmic ending to the world as we know it today.
In keeping with accepted historical biology theories, the human Cockroach, Rod Blagojvich, is the only survivor left to tell the tale as he is seen sitting in his Chicago living room giving an imaginary interview with Chris Matthews.