Written by Frank Clough
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Topics: Science, Public

Sunday, 8 February 2009

image for Science out of step with public opinion
Newton said to be turning in his grave

Scientists and experts have once again clashed with public opinion.

The Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs (ACMD) has examined the scientific evidence for the classification of ecstacy and are to recommend that ecstacy be downgraded to a Class B substance.

A Whitehall source said: "The government gets accused of not taking medical and scientific evidence into account. But clearly these experts are wildly out of step with public opinion."

The government has said that it will reject the findings of the ACMD.

In other moves to bring science into line with public opinion the government has announced that it will repeal the Law of Gravity.

A government spokesman said that arrogant and unelected scientists have been imposing their laws on an unwilling public for long enough and that science should be brought into line with what the public wants rather than what science dictates.

Repealing the Law of Gravity is expected to greatly reduce the cost of air travel and contribute to a reduction in global warming.

A conservative spokesman said there may be unintended consequences in repealing the Law of Gravity and a better alternative would be to make global warming illegal. The Prime Minister reponded by saying the government is well aware of the dangers and is therefore simultaneously repealing the Law of Unintended Consequences.

It was also announced that a committee of Shamans and Witch Doctors is to be set up by the government to consider other scientific laws which should be changed in order to better reflect public opinion.

One of the first things they will consider are changes to the Laws of Chance which would enable everyone to become a lottery winner thus ending the economic crisis.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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