Written by Remi Moses
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Topics: Weather, Snow

Saturday, 7 February 2009

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Snow is continuing to cause problems across the UK. The country, already shivering massively under a blanket of snow, is braced for more snow to fall on top of the snow already there.

'Don't go anywhere in cars' said all police forces on Friday night.

On Saturday morning, over 10500 drivers had to be rescued from cars - with police facing criticism over the lack of guidance that they had provided.

'I heard them say not to drive anywhere in cars' said one shivering driver, 'but they didn't tell ME not to go anywhere - no letters, knocks at the door or anything.'

Meanwhile, as councils ran out of road salt, they started having to appeal for people to dump salty foods onto roads in an attempt to prevent the formation of black ice. Canapes, crisps and ready meals are all suitable for use in this situation.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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