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Thursday, 5 February 2009

image for "I've been healed! I've been healed!" cries Nurse
A grin says it all

In St. Duffy's Hospital, Weston-Super-Mare a fully qualified District Nurse came running into the outpatients reception area exclaiming; "I've been healed! I've been healed!" Surprised onlookers recognised the woman as a colleague who had been suspended on NO pay for offering prayer.

Two burly men in white coats quickly grabbed her and took her to the offices of North Somerset PCT to be interrog... interviewed.

The nurse told In Seine News;

"When they dragged me before the P-C PCT, I was petrified (pun intended) because I thought they were going to give me the sack, but I was extremely surprised when I actually met the Chief Executive, Lucy Ferr. She gave me a nice cup of coffee and a couple of chocolate digestive biscuits. "How did you know that chocolate digestives were my favourite?" I asked. "We know all about you" she replied."

"Now what's all this 'I've been healed stuff?" she asked. I felt like replying "But you would know, you've just said so!" but I heard The Lord telling me to hold my counsel. "Yes I have been healed of my bad, unprofessional behaviour. The teacher at the Diversity and Equality class you asked me to attend said he had a brother who is a qualified Hypno-therapist and would I like to meet him?" "NO I said." Then he said; "Now you know how that old lady must have felt when you offered her prayer!"

"OK, I understand" I said. "But you must complete this diversity and Equality training by attending a session with him." "OK I shall go." I went to see this man who began to swing his pocket watch at me and he said repeat after me ten times "I MUST NOT OFFER PRAYER, IT'S UNPROFESSIONAL." So I did and you know what? I have no urge to make such offers any more.

I can assure you that no other nurses or doctors have offered to pray for me - perhaps they've done it anyway without asking - that's so intrusive don't you think? So much for diversity and equality! Oh… by the way thanks for the publicity. God works in mysterious ways and has provided for me since you haven't paid me for almost 8 weeks."

It is understood that she has now opened her own spiritual clinic in Bristol and is seeing many people being healed as a result of not praying for them. She is not being paid for her services.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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