Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Radio, DJ, Alan Partridge

Thursday, 5 February 2009

image for Local Commercial Radio Stations Face The Axe
Good Morning Norwich!!! - Aaah Fuck Off.

The Conservative Party, led by 'Do Nothing' Dave Cameron have hit upon their most successful campaign strategy to date, by promising to axe commercial radio stations which 'fail to deliver any meaningful input into the ears of listeners.'

Party officials were ecstatic at the prospect of having a subject they could really get stuck into.

"Some of these DJ's on these stations make the fictional Alan Partridge character look positively professional," said Cheesy Haw-Haw Philly Blunt, Conservative MP for Poshford. "They play dance music at six am and talk absolute shite. They need a good shaking up."

The Spoof's own media watch watchdog Harry Whitemouse told us:

"They do have a point. Playing moronic dance music all day is an insult to the listener's intelligence. This kind of thing redefines the word BLAND, to replace it with FUCKING ANNOYING.

"The other day I tuned in to a number of commercial radio stations, and quite frankly, the music they played was total bollocks.

"The so-called DJ's were even worse. On one channel we had a DJ whose cohort kept asking him if he was wearing her nightie, repeatedly, for hours on end.

"Are you wearing my nightie?

"By the time I'd had enough I felt like throwing the radio through the fucking window."

But isn't that just yoof culture, we challenged, like talking Jafakean instead of proper London? Innit?

"Nah, this is just crap," Harry Whitemouse told us. "These wankers make Alan Partridge look professional. We had one tosspot DJ the other day, twatting on about how he was using nose cream and when he went shopping, people thought he was hanging a bogey. Hilarious

"Then there was the one who bought some furniture covers and was outraged when he put them in the wash and they'd shrunk. He prattled on about this for three fucking HOURS."

This journalist apologises for the amount of bad language in this article, but has been told that it pales in comparison to the degree of antipathy which normal people regard crap commercial radio with.

Beyonce, Girls Aloud, Sugababes.

More as you stick it to us.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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