Written by Noshing Mink
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Thursday, 5 February 2009

image for Queen up s**t creek for selling golliwog toys
George W. Bush telling a dirty joke to Queen Elizabeth II - nothing to do with this story

Queen Elizabeth II has been severely criticised after an undercover Sunday Times reporter revealed that she has been selling golliwog toys from her Sandringham estate.

The reporter spent 4 weeks at the shop, pretending to be a statue of Prince Charles, during which he covertly observed Queen Elizabeth trying to offload the crappy dolls on unsuspecting Japanese and American tourists. Her Majesty would open up the shop every morning at 9am, he said, and place several of the offensive dolls, named Willy Wog, on the counter of the shop on her estate, dressing them up with rags. Sometimes her grandchildren, William and Harry, would enter the shop and play a game called "Lords and Slaves", during which the toys would receive a stiff kicking.

The Queen immediately apologised for her lack of sensitivity, saying "One had no idea that these dolls were offensive. One used to see them on one's jam jars when one was a little girl."

Buckingham Palace announced that Her Majesty has bought a consignment of Taliban Towelhead dolls to replace the golliwogs, and these are expected to retail at £19.99 each. Each doll has a little drawstring sticking out of its rear end, which, when pulled, causes the doll to say "Allah Akbar" before exploding.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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