London - (Special Sick Relationship Mess): George W Bush's UK-born bastard son by a former Provisional IRA/KGB whore and ex-Miss County Louse winner has been getting free diplomatic protection and immunity from prosecution according to reports.
Lincoln F Bullionheister, 21, has repeatedly seen crack cocaine dealing charges set aside by furious Met cops whose instructions included busting serial UFO nutter and Pentagon hacker Garry McKinnon instead of the young shrublet.
During Bush's November 2003 UK state visit the fledgeling Bushwacker was smuggled into Buckingham Palace inside a consignment of Corgi feed.
Father and son then spent a psychotic ten minutes getting to know one another before Bullionheister pulled a semi-automatic pistol from his jeans and demanded one million pounds hush money from his sordid progenitor.
A Cayman Islands truss fund was hurriedly set up with funds siphoned off from the Russians' London embassy Eurovision Song Contest slush fund and the
US embassy's extraordinary rendition flights' budget to pander to the young rascal's every whim.
Paris Hilton is another Bush-spawned shoo-in masquarading as the real hotels heiress.