Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Weather, Snow, Ice

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

image for First Snow, Then Ice, Then A Bit Of Rain - Whatever Next?
Brrr It's Cold Outside (This Is Not A Real Penguin)

It's official - The UK is now the laughing stock of the world following the farcical sequence of events from Monday morning through to Wednesday night.

The farce began when a light dusting of snow hit these islands on Sunday night.

On Monday morning the population decided that a battering by up to three inches of snow was intolerable and that most had better take the day off work on Health and Safety grounds and only venture out to build snowmen or mess about in the park with the kids, or even to take poxy mobile pictures and submit them to equally poxy local radio stations for publication on even poxier web sites.

Even the press got in on the act by publishing romantic British snowscape pictures, usually accompanied by 'charming' pictures of pampered family pets experiencing snow for the first time.

Pictures of penguins,or even blue tits, (Scraping the barrel a bit here with the photo library - Ed.) accompanied by the caption: "Brrr It's Cold Outside" were printed by almost every esteemed organ in the country.

Everything stopped. Buses, trains, flights, the London Underground, and road transport was at best "chaotic" and at worst "going nowhere."

Come Tuesday, some of the snow had melted, so the problem then became ICE, on the roads no less.

The result was the same as Monday's as British motorists expressed their solidarity by bunking off work for yet another day, saying generally that driving conditions were "treacherous" and that to travel, or even attempt to travel, in such adverse conditions was tantamount to "madness."

Tuesday night - snow melted, here at least, where this reporter is located. A bit nippy with the odd drop of rain.

Looks like it's business as usual for the great British worker.

The majority of which will probably pull a sickie Wednesday citing colds/flu etc after spending too much time outside pissing about in the snow.

We contacted a Canadian 'Ice Road Trucker' who drives his truck over frozen lakes in order to deliver goods and services to mining corporations in temperatures as low as minus 40 degrees C, what he thought about the great British 'skive'

He said: "What a bunch a fuckin' pussies!"

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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