Written by Everyman

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Topics: Credit Crunch, Time

Thursday, 29 January 2009

image for UK Government announces devaluation of British minute to 54 seconds
Time gentlemen please

Gordon Brown has revealed a startling new policy to help the British economy cope with the global economic crisis.

In a speech to the UK adult film industry the prime minister said:"In order to improve our productivity relative to international competitors I am today announcing that the British minute will be devalued from 60 seconds to 54 seconds. This will immediately render us 10% more productive than we are currently and enable us to compete in the international market place more competitively."

David Cameron reluctantly backed the plan: "We have to admit that this is fairly daring, and makes a change from giving squillions of quid to the bankers. On the plus side it will give us 10% more opportunity to have sex." He then paused and blushed, coughed and pretended to clear his throat: "I mean, it will mean that we live 10% longer and what will that do the pension bubble?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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