Written by Dungeekin
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Topics: Riot, Railway

Thursday, 29 January 2009

Four people were hospitalised today, after a publicity stunt at Oxford Station went badly wrong.

First Great Western Trains were scheduled to hold a 'Meet the Manager' session at the station - however due to a clerical error, the event was publicised as a 'Beat the Manager' event, and fully two thousand pissed-off commuters turned up at the station determined to give FGW management a damn good shoeing.

An eyewitness said, "it was chaos. The commuters just went for the train managers like a pack of hounds. I saw one manager being battered, with four blokes in suits jumping on him screaming "how's that for unscheduled works!". Another manager was being chased by a woman brandishing a railway spike and yelling that she was going to make sure he only ever needed 'standing room'".

The injured managers were taken to the John Radcliffe Hospital, where their condition was described as 'stable'. A spokesman for the hospital said that none of the injuries were life-threatening, though it was going to smart a bit for one manager when the briefcase of a particularly-determined commuter was removed from his bottom.

The railway users group Railwatch condemned the station carnage, saying in a statement, "Railwatch do not condone passengers taking matters into their own hands. And anyway, we missed out on the chance to give First Great Western a good kicking, so we're deeply disappointed".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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