In a startling revelation today, Mr Jack Scrumptious told this reporter that his girlfriend had the most perfect pair of breasts in the world.
"They're absolutely perfect," Mr Scrumptious told us. "They're firm, they're bouncy, they're pert and a little bit cheeky, not too big, not too small, and without a hint of silicone in sight."
Miss Truly Scrumptious, out of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, informed us that her breasts were a strictly personal matter.
Her former art teacher, Mr Gustave Rembrandt said:
"I go into spasms when I think of those breasts, so round, so perfect, I find myself going to sleep at night thinking of those breasts."
"Tell me about it," said Mr Franny Batter, Ms Scrumptious's detention teacher. "I lie awake at night fantasizing about what it would be like to immerse my face in those most beautiful breasts, to have them flapping around my ears, to... oh my God can we terminate this interview now?"
We asked Miss Scrumptious if she'd flash us her "golden globes" so that the world would know what a beautiful and breast enhanced young lady she is.
She told us to "Fuck off you dirty old wankers."
More as we get it.