London - ('Paki' Sluts Mess): "No hard feelings? You bet! Harry hasn't managed a hard-on since that Nazi uniform caper back in 2007," a teary-faced Chelsy Davy sobbed today.
The 23 year old peroxide bombshell was later seen leaving Clarence House via the customary servants' entrance for the last time, a personal laying-off cheque from Prince Charles folded inside her brassiere.
Clutching a few personal effects in a 'By Royal Appointment to HRH' black plastic bin bag the Zimbabwean stopped briefly to wave to reporters.
"It's the bleedin' recession, I tell ya," Davy spluttered.
"Pince effin' Charles told me this morning he was having to lay off all floozies and slappers on the Duchy Originals payroll, like I was some kind of organic treacle tart flapjack!"
Ms Davy's severance pay for the last five years' 'service' is rumored to be in the region of £666, roughly the same as Kate Middleton gets per each official hetero-fiction outing with William.