The BBC today refused to broadcast an appeal for people starving to death in Africa, saying 'it would not be impartial to show such a thing. The situation in Africa is a highly complex and political one, and we have a duty to our viewers to be as spineless as possible, while stealing their money. Well, we're only copying the Labour government.'
There is widespread evidence that suffering and starvation exist in Africa, and many have pointed out that such problems have nothing to do with politics or wars, and are simply problems that human beings across the world would like to help end, but the BBC disagreed.
'Look', it's spokesperson Phoeble McSpineless said, 'Sky are as feeble and spineless as us, so yah boo to you! That'll be £127 for a license fee please', and Sky manager Rupert Grovelly added 'Grovel grovel grovel, Mr. Brown, grovel grovel grovel grovel, Mr. Olmert. Call this news? Hah! We're going to change our name from Sky News to Sky Kidschannel, but only if Mr. Brown and Mr. Olmert allow us to.'
The BBC also refused to show a documentary showing Israelis massacring Palestinian civilians, using phosphorus bombs on them, deliberately destroying factories and houses in Gaza, and basically acting like the war criminals the entire world already know they are, but Ms. McSpineless said 'I can't hear you! I can't hear you!', and put her hands over her ears and ran out of the room.
German TV also refused to show the appeal, as 'what the Israelis are doing might remind people of our Nazi past, let's just do what the Americans do and pretend nothing wrong is going on in the Middle East. The British may be spineless, but the Americans are just plain dumb. With you in a minute, Herr Goebbels.'
It is unlikely that another appeal, to ask the United States to stop arming and supporting the murderers in Israel, will be shown either.