Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Karen Mathews

Friday, 23 January 2009

image for Karen Matthews Gets Banged-Up For 'Not Long Enough'
It was a bed just like this under which little Shannon was stuffed

Karen Matthews, the 'mother' of Shannon Matthews, the schoolgirl who went 'missing' for three weeks until she was found under a bed, has been jailed at Leeds Crown Court for 'not long enough'.

In amazing scenes, not-very-appropriately-named judge, Mr Justice McCombe, handed down a sentence of only eight years, and said:

"The offences that you committed were truly despicable. Mind you, you, yourself, are despicable, and an ugly slapper!"

There was raucous laughter in the court, with solicitors, jurors, police officers and the public gallery, all falling about unable to contain themselves.

But later, many of those present in the courtroom were of the opinion that the Dewsbury slapper had got off lightly, and should probably have been locked up for life, or faced the hangman for treating her own daughter in such a disgusting, disgraceful and despicable manner.

Said a juror:

"Thank fuck for that! Shannon's had an extremely lucky escape to have ridded herself of that bitch until she's 18!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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