Written by IainB
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Monday, 19 January 2009

image for Most depressing day of year to become bank holiday
Unhappiness begone!

Gordon Brown has announced the results of an on line survey to find England's next bank holiday.

There were several dates up for grabs, with the Monday nearest to Armistice Day the hot favourite to get the Public Holiday treatment and bring England and Wales closer to the number of Public Holidays enjoyed by European neighbours.

However, the third Monday in January has won by a landslide.

The third Monday in January (the 18th in 2010) has been dubbed Blue Monday after a mathematical formula determined it to be the most depressing day of the year due to it falling after an expensive Christmas, with poor weather, with pay day still a fortnight away and no more public holidays in sight (the next one is at the end of March).

By making this Monday a Public Holiday, this changes the nature of the equation, and it would cease to be the most depressing day of the year.

"It's a win-win scenario," said Professor Emeritus of King's College in Cambridge who came up with the original equation. "Having plugged in the values, we have discovered that there would be no depressing days in the year, and we believe that this information has swayed the vote."

All that remains is to name the new Public Holiday, with the current favourite being Prozac day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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