This afternoon, Peckham market trader Bell Boy Frotter revealed to the spoof.com how he outwitted a sophisticated Nigerian email scam ring by "not being a mug."
Bell Boy explains:
"I'd just bought a job lot of tsunami damaged roulette tables from the far east and was logged on to my mate Frigger's account when I got an email from some sort in Nigeria telling me that I'd just inherited 22 million dollars US."
"During the war..." Bell Boy's Uncle Cuthbert started before being rudely shot down by the lads in the Nag's Knacker.
"Ignore him," said Bell Boy. "He's a ker-plunker. Anyway, these people told me that if I sent them a money order for ten thousand of Her Madge's pounds, they'd ensure that I got my inheritance.
"It was tempting, but I emailed them back saying that I needed twenty thousand of Her Madge's pounds to be able to do that, because I'd used all me readies investing in mineral rights in the Ivory Coast and I was a bit overdrawn but that by this time next month I'd be a millionaire.
"So they sent me a money order for the twenty G's.
At which point drinks all round were ordered.
On the slate.
"Don't worry about it," Bell Boy's mate Frigger informed us. "Dave'll pay for the drinks."
"Nigerian scam artists, I've shit em!!!" enthused a jubilant Bell Boy, before sneaking off to buy a job lot of genuine synthetic crocodile skin bikinis.
To sell on the Golden mile.
More when we can believe what we've got ourselves involved with.