In a leaked memo it has been revealed how the Labour Party intend to win the next election.
The South East of England is currently a Tory stronghold, and could well sway the outcome of the next general election in the Conservative Party's favour. The memo explains Labour's plan to counter this threat.
It explains how a genetically modified variant on the 1913 flu virus will be released in the South East of England two months ahead of the election forcing a mass evacuation of people away from their voting booths. Labour affiliated scientists are currently trying to adjust the virus to target only those who vote Conservative, if the gene that pre-disposes this behaviour can be identified in time.
If the gene cannot be identified the virus will be released anyway with mass evacuations spreading the Conservative voters into Labour strongholds, and those who do not want to be evacuated given strict instructions not to leave their houses, especially on the day of the election itself.
Whilst the modification of the virus is a closely guarded secret, Gene Hacker, one of the researchers in the project, came forward after the news had been released.
"It's a travesty," said Hacker. "The government are playing with people's lives. It has to be stopped."
Jaquie Smith, the home secretary has strenuously denied the rumour.