As residents of quiet Bumbleton wake up this morning, little do they realise the potential danger they are in.
Although in a remote part of Southern England, and far removed from any flight path, the Mayor of Bumbleton, Jeremy Pizzle admitted under intense questioning from our intrepid reporter that a plane crash of catastrophic proportions was "extremely unlikely but not impossible I suppose." The public official appeared bewildered and dishevelled when reporters from The Evening Lies confronted him at his luxurious 2 bed semi at 3 o'clock this morning.
"Who are you and what is that photographer doing in my pond?" the confused councillor demanded.
News of this potential calamity is likely to cause widespread panic throughout the village, possibly causing a rise in stress related illnesses and suicides in what was, in 1962, the third most peaceful village in Britain.
We paid for the comments of an aviation expert who said "When a plane crash occurs, the debris is generally scattered over a wide area and many people are often killed."
Less interestingly, he went on to say; "Sometimes, of course, only one or two people are hurt in such events."
This is not the first time Bumbleton has potentially experienced tragedy. In 2004, a motorist smashed his car into a brick wall outside the post office, where defenceless children could possibly have been walking around. But weren't. An onlooker, Harry Shitehawk said "It was like something out of a movie." When asked which movie had a car crashing into a brick wall outside a post office, Mr Shitehawk declined to comment.