Washington,DC/ Porta Potty News - Sanitation workers in charge of the January 20 Presidential Inauguration say that 5 million Obama believers will be "shit out of luck" as the $40M event will only provide for 5,000 porta potties! That translates into one seat for every 1,000 party goers!
"It's going to be a real pisser," said one street sweeper from Massachusetts who volunteered for "the shit detail" in the nation's capitol.
The average construction porta potty capacity is designed for ten men, for 10 hours, " and that's for normal use," said a spokesman," with all the celebration involving beer chugging and guzzling of Thunderbird Wine, the streets are going to smell like a urinal!"
Meanwhile, political corruption watchers were pretty cynical, "this place has been a shit hole for years," one jaded whistle blower noted, " now at least it will be exposed on national television!"
Patty Blagojevitch, Obama's Inaugural Potty Chairman,, "Potty Mouth Patty" responsible for granting the portable toilet franchise, has said to have been selling advanced seating for the limited access crappers. Tickets have been going for $1.50 apiece, or five for $5. However scalpers have been getting as much as $10 for a place setting. Proceeds are reported going to Patty's husband, indicted Governor Rod, as part of his Golden Shower Retirement package.
Members of the National Homebuilders Association have been granted booth privileges on major street corners selling lidless 5 gallon dry wall buckets to help relieve anal stress and prostate disorders among Obama's followers.
With home building at an all time low manufactures are happy to ship out thousands of unfilled buckets and take financial tax credits for Democratic Donations under the heading of another "Obama Bailout!
As part of a Government Information Public Service announcement, inauguration goers have been urged to bring their own toilet paper, and consider girding their loins with Depends, the super absorbent undergarment endorsed by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, and disgraced sexual addicted Astronaut, Navy Cpt. Lisa Marie Nowak , who pissed herself rather than stopping at roadside porti potties while on her mission to kill a romantic rival.
"Let's not have any more leaks," Madam Speaker urged in an address to the full House, "we're in deep enough shit ... let's not add to the pile!"
Said Rush Limbaugh on his syndicated talk show concerning the situation, "there sure are going to be five million disappointed ass holes next Tuesday!"