Buckingham Palace - (Smelling Salts Mess): The royal physician has warned about increasing the Queen's senile dementia medication yet again despite widespread fears a racist slur lawsuit will clean out the royal coffers.
This morning legal papers were served on the Puppet Monarchy claiming £1 billion libel damages for Prince Harry's widely televised racist rant fiasco.
The Von Battenburg-Windsors are already feeling the pinch after royal banks Coutts & Co and Whore & Son were assimilated Borg-style into the hapless Royal Bank of Scotland.
RBS then crashed owing billions in the Madoff Ponzi Scam catastrophe.
Old Fatty Mountbatten herself is believed to have lost all her $20 million divorce settlement from her only legitimate marriage - to the late US billionaire Hioward Hughes.
Her illigitimate son by movie actor Cary Grant is also known as the Yorkshire Ripper, Peter Sutcliffe.