Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 12 January 2009

image for Prince Harry Liberates Millions Of Ordinary People Who Thought They Were Being Racist
A Raghead, as described by Prince Harry

Prince Harry, the nation's favourite ginger-haired person, is being vaunted as a liberator this morning, after it was officially announced by the government that his racist comments about Pakis weren't racist at all, but just good, clean, wholesome fun, with no racist undertones, and certainly not meant to do any harm.

The news came as a relief to millions of ordinary folk the length and breadth of Britain, who had, until now, considered themselves 'closet racists', having used the same kind of language as the Prince, for years.

The Royal Prince Harry fondly described one of his Army cadet colleagues, Ahmet Raza Khan, as his "little Paki friend", and another as a "raghead", but Prime Minister Gordon Brown said today that his comments were:

"A harmless bit of fun. Nothing to get hot under the kaftan about!"

And later, thousands of callers jammed the BBC switchboard to celebrate the announcement that Harry had been given the all-clear.

One, Raymond Hitler, of Thurrock in Essex, said:

"Thank fuck for that! I'd gone for years thinking it was racist to say stuff like Paki, Wog and Nigger. Now I feel so much better, knowing that, if the Prince uses words like that, it must be OK."

Another, Sally White, told listeners:

"I've always referred to them as 'those lovely brown people from Pakistan', not wanting to offend them, but now Harry has put things in a proper perspective for me, I'll certainly use the more familiar 'Paki' next time I go to the market for some jeans."

Prince Harry, who cites Bernard Manning as one of his all-time favourite comedians, apologised to citizens of Pakistan, saying:

"The last thing I wanted to do was to upset the Pakis. They're a terrific bunch, although they do tend to whiff a bit!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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