Prince Harry has been suspended from the British Army today, and will be tried at Nuremberg for calling a colleague 'a kraut'.
The incident happened three years ago, and many journalists burst into tears as they watched the video of the Prince calling Lance Corporal Andrew 'Adolf' Strauss 'a kraut'. This followed Strauss laughing and shouting 'inbred Nazi!' at Harry, after a day's fighting ruthless guerillas in Afghanistan, and the trial will go ahead this week.
A spokeslawyer for the Army, Desk Sergeant Cherie 'Widemouthfrog' Blair QC, said: 'The Army will not tolerate such racist abuse and downright bad manners as this. The Nuremberg trial will go ahead, and the jury will be made up of Taffs, Jocks, Paddies and nignogs, and a few token wops and dagos and Geordies. But the cannon fodder, American soldiers, need not attend, as they may lose the case - again.'
This is not the first time that Harry has been in the news, as he has been in the news almost every month since he was born, for absolutely no reason at all. But this is the first time journalists have scraped the barrel for the worst non-story since an earthquake unfortunately didn't happen underneath George Bush's house.
Harry himself said: 'Ein Reich, ein volk, ein chicken vindaloo with pilau rice, please, Paki!', and the Asian waiter burst out laughing, and replied: 'Comin' right up, cracker dog gingher!', and lawyers earnt another million pounds of tax-payers' money.
PM Gordon 'miserable Scotch git' Brown had no interest in this, neither did any else. The war on political correctness continues.