Written by Kozmik Ken
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Topics: BBC, Radio 4

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

image for BBC Embroiled in New Outrage
Cherries. An essential ingredient in a cherry bakewell

BBC Chiefs are once again reeling today after another crisis hit the floundering institution, just weeks after Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross shocked thousands of people who didn't listen to their programme.

The new outrage centers around Jenni Murray of Radio 4's Woman's Hour and her guest Nanette Newman (mother of rug wearing popster Gary Newman). During the show Jenni and her guest discussed 'women's things' such as floral dresses for older ladies, handbags, Mudsomer Murders and sudoku.

The BBC has received a flood of complaints following some of Nanette Newman's controversial views on the correct way to make a cherry bakewell.

Initially, no complaints were made until the story hit the Daily Mail's Femail columns, after which the floodgates opened with the BBC so far receiving up to 20 complaints and counting.

A staff writer at the Daily Mail commented, "Nanette's views of cherry bakewells came across as forthright and offensive. Nanette suggested pre-heating the oven to 180 degrees rather than the more socially acceptable 170 degrees and irresponsibly recommended using 20 drops of almond essence. This is strong stuff. You may as well recommend adding LSD. Nanette should have approached her guest spot a little more responsibly and not like some demented crack addict!"

Jenni Murray is expected to issue an apology and tender her resignation in the next few hours, as literally tens of Women's Institute members called for Radio 4 Controller, Mark Damazer's head to be placed on a spike in Abingdon town center.

I tracked Nanette Newman to her home, where she issued the following statement, "Oh for fuck's sake..."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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