The BBC is to replace a doll based on the Slutsy Mutsy character from the Topsy-Turvey TV show 'Up yer Garden Path' following complaints it is too light-skinned, or as one irate West Indian caller aptly phrased it: 'Jest too Honky'.
A BBC Openwide spokesman said it had conducted research after getting "an absolute shitpot" of complaints that the doll had lighter skin than the TV character and would now bring out a version with "a darker skin tone", possibly a hearty 'vomit green' to match the Hulk's verdant sun tan.
Michelle McScrunt, spokesmuppet for Taiwan's Ragarse Productions, the company behind the show, said the character had not been "intended to represent a specific race or culture".
"The characters are toys, not representations of people, but it seems some ethnically or racially-challenged prats have got to complain regardless and spoil the fun for everyone else."
According to the Topsy-Turvey website, Slutsy Mutsy and her companions Jiggly Piggly and Makki Pakki are "generally happy and optimistic characters who do not get into racial issues, take drugs, go to dogging sessions or engage in political or sectarian debates".
Ms. McScrunt observed that "Nobody seems to have complained that Jiggly Piggly's skin is blue or that the Wottingers resemble small dog turds dressed in Chinese Mandarin coats and hats."
However the fact that the Wottingers do wear royal blue Mandarin jackets and their neighbours, the Pontipines, wear bright red Mandarin jackets, has been picked up on by the Office of the Chinese Cultural Attaché who filed a complaint with regulator Comoffit, drawing parallels to the dolls actually portraying political opposition parties and posturing a radical revolutionary rival to the established government of the People's Republic of China.
Allergy warning :
This article was spoofed from the BBC's Totally Bonkers website and definitely contains traces of nuts.