The world of politics was shaken to it's foundations today, when David Cameron announced that he plans to step aside in 2010 to enable the return of Margaret Thatcher.
At 83, all but her most insane supporters would not have contemplated such a comeback possible. They however, are not aware of one of the most closely guarded, darkest secrets in politics. Margaret Thatcher, with the aid of her 13 personal assistants, has the ability to regenerate through means of the black arts.
Preparations are already in progress for the blood of a top banker to be used in the regeneration ritual. As news of Thatcher's plans to spill the blood of the head of one of Britain's premier financial institutions spread, banks began to topple as their CEO's panicked and fled.
According to the Conservative Book of the Dead, once the ritual is complete, it is expected that Thatcher will regain the constitution of a 25 year old and once again scourge society of all compassion, human rights and minimum pay.
Legend says that the only way to stop her, is to unknowingly substitute the blood of the banker with that of a union leader.
Arthur Scargill was yesterday unavailable for comment.