Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Aliens, Accrington

Monday, 5 January 2009

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An Extra Terrestrial Being Today In Accrington Looking For A Phone So He Can Call Home

Accrington, Lancashire - Live - I just met up with the mayor of Accrington in a pub by the cemetary. In the distance we can hear the shocking sounds of ray guns, lasers, and the the crack of cricket bat on alien head.

The mayor of Accrington, the Rt Hon Joe Soap has told us that he found himself cornered by alien footsoldiers in the reception area of the town hall.

'It were a bit hairy,' Mayor Soap told us. 'What with all the shooting and fighting and that going on. Anyroad, this gang of alien footsoldiers had me trapped, and before I could say Jack Robinson they'd snatched me chain of office right off me neck. The little grey shitbags.'

It seems the mayor made his getaway on a mountain bike.

He said: 'I'd like to thank publicly a young teenage lad who fought off a pack of aliens with a golf club. If it weren't for him I wouldn't be talking to you now. Thanks son.'

Chaos continues to be the order of the day in this Lancashire town where they made the bricks that were to become the foundations of the Empire State Building in New York.

But where they don't make bricks any more.

More as we get it

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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